I Would Die For You
by Miz-Cam
Summary: Helga reminisces on the days spent with Arnold and finishes off something that was her last resort. Pretty dark. R/R Please!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold! Craig Bartlett and other people do. ::sigh:: Now I'm all depressed. I don't own the song "#1 Crush" by Garbage either. Please forgive me, I'm poor and all I can do is mess up the lives of the characters I write about. ^_^ Hey! At least this hobby has SOME perks.  
  
A/N: A song-fic about Helga and pretty much what she would do for Arnold. Please read and review. Pretty dark. I'm still working on my other story. This is just a side dish kind of thing.  
  
"" means speaking '' means thoughts  
  
"I Would Die For You"  
  
Chapter One: Intangible  
  
She crept stealthily around in the shadows trying to be as quiet as possible. Clad in black jeans and a tight fitting black shirt, the blonde teen stopped short from her quest. She heard something, barely audible, but it was something. She twisted her neck to the left wondering where that sound came from. "I cannot be caught doing this. I can't even believe I'm doing this. Crimney, what would Phoebe say?' That name sent remorse coursing through her veins. Her best and probably only friend left to Japan to complete her studies. She sighed trying to wash away her feelings and focus on the present. Helga looked around the silent room and figured she was hearing things. 'Get a hold of yourself Pataki. This isn't the first time you've done this so stop being paranoid!' She inched closer to her treasure. The golden prize she wished of receiving. The seventeen year old gazed towards the sleeping figure and smiled widely. 'My love. After all these years, you still hold that sense of innocence. That sense of humanity and justice.' She sighed inwardly and all most fainted at the closeness she was to him. 'I would do absolutely anything for you, dear, sweet Arnold. If only you knew the love I hold for you.'  
  
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I would die for you  
  
I would die for you  
  
I've been dying just to feel you by my side  
  
To know that you're mine  
  
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The boy turned to his side, causing the love-stricken girl to nearly jump out of her skin with this sudden movement. 'Now I can't see him correctly. Just great. I wish I didn't have to do this every night, just so I could be near him without throwing insults his way.' She began to remember all those times she made fun of him, even when he wasn't feeling his best. 'Maybe if I was nicer, he would notice me. He would even love me. Why am I fated to live this way. Live my life as his fucking stalker.' A silent tear slid down her face. She wiped it furiously, but millions more just like it's predecessor followed. She wiped them away, hoping for them to stop. For once, the tears listened.  
  
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I will cry for you  
  
I will cry for you  
  
I will wash away your pain with all my tears  
  
And drown your fear  
  
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'Why does Arnold have the perfect life? He's left with loving people while I'm not noticed. While I live in a shit hole with people called 'parents' who don't even acknowledge me as their daughter. No, he's pure, he's the angel brought to us. I guess he must just deserve it.' She began to feel weary standing over him, so she walked over to his couch and reclined on it. Lost in her thoughts, she began to think more of the years she spent with her flaxen-haired angel. 'My angel. HA! That's a laugh. He's Liiiiiila's. Not mine, and never will be.'  
  
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I will pray for you  
  
I will pray for you  
  
I will sell my soul for something pure and true  
  
Someone like you  
  
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Helga's bloodshot eyes looked upwards, towards the ceiling while she contemplated. She flitted through her mind, trying to find the memories she had with him. However, one memory stood prominent and though she tried to force it away, it stayed in place. Her dry face began to moisten again with the thought. She sniffed and unfortunately remembered that day clearly.  
  
---Flashback---  
  
It was an event every student attending Hillwood High anticipated. Everyone except Helga G. Pataki. She snorted at the mere sight of the gymnasium, ordained with streamers, balloons and a banner saying HOMECOMING DANCE. How she detested the coming days for this dance. It wasn't like anyone was going to ask her anyway. It would be the same old routine for her. Dream of Arnold asking her, wish that Arnold would ask her, beg that Arnold would ask her, get her hopes up, flatten them once it doesn't happen, and shut out everyone from the world once more. She sighed and sat on one of the many bleachers in the gym looking around for something or should I say someone. Her eyes brightened at the sight of her love. Arnold was helping to decorate the gym and was standing on a ladder trying to tie the string of one end of the banner. As she gazed at him she began to devise a plan. A plan of complete action. She mustered up all of her courage and walked towards Arnold. He walked carefully down the ladder and turned around only to meet deep blue eyes filled with determination. "Oh, hey Helga. What's up?" he asked wondering why she would come up to him. "Well, I.er.you see." nervously she rubbed the back of her neck as she continued. "The dance is coming up and I was wondering ifyouwouldliketogowithme?," she blurted out. He looked confusedly at her and asked densely "What?" She breathed and said more slowly "I was wondering if you would go with me to the dance." Helga looked down, afraid he was going to laugh or act cruelly. "Sure I would Helga. I'd be honored." he said proudly. She looked up disbelievingly, but saw honesty in those turquoise eyes of his. She smiled slightly and replied more at ease "Well, then I guess it's a date huh Footballhead?" Arnold laughed at his childhood name and as he calmed he asked "What time should I pick you up?" She replied rather quickly "Eight o'clock is fine." She began to walk away, not believing this is happening. He nodded and called back to the retreating figure "Eight it is then!" Once out of the school, she ran home, up the stairs and into her room. Helga jumped for joy, pulled out one of her infamous pink books and wrote swiftly of the days events. On the night of the dance, Helga primped up, hoping to finally win Arnold's heart. No more was she the scrawny nine year old. Her blonde locks were elbow-length, but tonight it was swept into a bun, with loose strands cupping her face. She wore light makeup which accentuated her eyes. Lastly, her dress. It was a light pink, almost white shade. Spaghetti strapped with slight rhinestones in random places. She slipped into her clear sandals and grabbed her purse as she headed downstairs. She waited patiently in the living room till her prince arrived. After a few minutes, she looked nervously at the clock. '8:10. Where could he be? He said '8 it is' which means he should've been here. He wouldn't stand me up..would he?' Nervously, she looked at the clock, until the doorbell rang. She jumped from her position on the couch and answered the door at lightening speed. "HI!" she almost squeaked as she saw her Arnold, dressed in a dark blue tuxedo, white shirt and silk dark blue tie. He chuckled. "Hey Helga, you look beautiful. Sorry I'm late, took me a while to tie this tie.", he sheepishly grinned as he pointed to his adversary, the dreaded tie. She blushed at his statement, and he escorted her to his car. The drive there was filled with a comfortable silence as both were lost in their own thoughts. They finally reached the school and he opened the door for her. 'My dear Arnold, such a gentlemen. I think I'm going to die happy after this.' They entered the huge doors that led to the gymnasium to see many other students there already, dancing and eating the food. For once, Helga enjoyed herself at the this event as she danced with Arnold under the spotlights. After their third dance, she excused herself to go to the Ladies Room. She finished up and checked her hair before leaving. 'This has been the best ni---' The girl was cut short from her thoughts once she saw Arnold dancing with Lila. 'Maybe, it's just a friendly gesture. Though the way they're slow dancing doesn't look friendly at all.' Her heart began to break. 'Don't cry. You might be crying over nothing. He might just want to dance with her. It's his choice. Besides, you're HIS date.' She nodded in affirmation as she walked towards the food table for some punch. Once the song ended, she looked around for her date. She walked around the gym in hopes of finding him. No where to be seen. She asked around, but no one knew. 'Maybe he sneaked off to the bathroom.' She spotted him near that wretched girl, Lila. Knowing she meant nothing to him, she walked towards their direction and asked rather calmly "Hey Arnold, I was wondering if you would want to dance. I mean the dance is almost over and I-" "I don't think so Helga. I'm going to stay with Lila now. Besides, it's not like you were my date or anything." he laughed and Lila smiled cruelly at her. Tears threatened to fall, but she held them back. 'Be strong. You can do it' "Arnold, you are my date. I asked you and you accepted. Don't you remember?" He looked puzzled at her and said slowly "Really? Well, I guess I forgot then. You can go home by yourself right?" She numbly nodded and walked off, leaving the couple to their business. 'How could someone like him become so two-faced. That wench probably brainwashed him. That could be the only reason.'  
  
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See your face ever place that I walk in  
  
Hear your voice every time that I'm talking  
  
You will believe in me  
  
And I will never be ignored  
  
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That night, she sat on her bed full of remorse and despair. 'He'll never love you. Don't you see? The perfect will always be left with the perfect.' More destructive voices entered her mind. She shook her head as tears greeted her face. Wet makeup dripped from her chin as she wept. The sixteen year old felt extreme hate and anger as the word PERFECT flashed through her mind. She ripped off her dress in rage, throwing it across the room. 'Everyone is human. And humans aren't perfect. Everyone suffers and bleeds so why the fuck is Arnold not bleeding? Not suffering like the rest of us. Maybe I'm mistaken. Maybe humans don't bleed and it's all a lie. Well, I guess there's only one way to find out. 'Helga picked up her pocket knife she kept near her bed and slowly cut a thin line across her wrist. She cried more as she slit her arm, randomly and swiftly, until blood trickled everywhere hitting her white carpet soundlessly. 'Guess I was wrong. Humans do bleed. Which means even angels fall after all.'  
  
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I will burn for you  
  
Feel pain for you  
  
I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart  
  
And tear it apart  
  
I will lie for you  
  
Beg and steal for you  
  
I will crawl on hands and knees until you see  
  
You're just like me  
  
Violate all the love that I'm missing  
  
Throw away all the pain that I'm living  
  
You will believe in me  
  
And I could never be ignored  
  
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--End of flashback-  
  
Slowly, Helga opened her eyes and looked at the clock on Arnold's desk. It read in neon numbers 4:18. She yawned and stood up from the couch. 'I better put this letter in a place where he would easily find it. I'm running out of time.' She reached into her pocket and pulled out a crumpled letter. She laid it on his desk and looked at the sleeping figure again. 'My Arnold, how I wish we could be together. But, alas, the fates prevent us from doing so.' Walking towards him, she gazed longingly at his sleeping face. 'SNAP OUT OF IT! If you keep doing this, you won't be able to finish your plan.' She nodded slowly to her thoughts and climbed the ladder to Arnold's roof. She couldn't see the sunset yet, and probably never will where she's going. Helga gulped and reassured herself. She stood on the edge of Arnold's roof looking down at the street below. 'Who said suicide is for cowards? It takes a lot of courage to kill yourself.' Laughing at her dark humor, she stepped forward, allowing herself to feel the breeze in her hair as she left everything go. 'Until we meet again, my love.'  
  
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I would die for you  
  
I would kill for you  
  
I would steal for you  
  
I'd do time for you  
  
I would wait for you  
  
I'd make room for you  
  
I'd sail ships for you  
  
To be close to you  
  
To be part of you  
  
'Cause I believe in you  
  
I believe in you  
  
I would die for you  
  
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- - - - - - - - - -  
  
Well, you've reached the end. If majority wants a second chapter I'll make one. But, for now this is the end. Okay, well pretty weird and dark right? Don't ask how this popped into my head. I was listening to that song and I instantly thought of Helga and me. Anyway, the whole me is another story which you don't need to know. This is the longest story I have ever made. Props for me! Please review this! And I'll work on my other story. I have to reach the evil within. hehe ^_^ 


	2. Aftermath

Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold or anything else, but this story. I can torture my characters mercilessly though. Oh, before I forget and get sued, I don't own the song "Hello" by Evanescence.  
  
A/N: Well, I'm dedicating this chapter to my reviewers. I love you all, especially since you guys seem to love it! ^_^ Oh, last chapter! Hope you like it.  
  
"" means speaking  
  
'' means thoughts  
  
"I Would Die For You"  
  
Chapter Two: Aftermath  
  
'I know she's here, she's always here'. He closed his eyes and eased his quickened breath as he heard his skylight creak open, already knowing his late night visitor. Arnold smiled inwardly as he felt her presence move around his room. He felt her eyes bore through him, probably filled with questions and longing. He never knew why she always visited him, but deep down he somehow relished it. The smell of her just enticed him completely. It made him want more of her.  
  
He wanted to hold her in his arms, take her troubles away and be with her. Unfortunately, he had that chance. Just because he was suddenly popular didn't mean he was a new Arnold, though some would say otherwise. When she asked him to the homecoming dance those few months ago, he was surprised, but also happy.  
  
He couldn't figure out why so he dismissed the feelings as nothing more than friendship. Frustrated with these memories, the blonde teen turned over to the other side facing his shelf, he didn't want her to see his face at the moment. He wanted to remember the old days when things were simple, and love was innocent. Nothing would ever come back, and everything changes.  
  
Arnold heard the couch creak, remembering that Helga was still in his room.  
  
'Probably laying on the couch. Thinking about God knows what.' He sighed quietly and turned around opposite of his bookshelf.  
  
Arnold saw blonde hair glistening in the moonlight, and also the barely audible whimpering from the same direction.  
  
'I'm the reason for those tears. If only she just knew how I truly felt. I'm such a coward, I have to do something. I know! I'll tell her tomorrow.'  
  
He smiled to himself at his ingenious plan and finally fell asleep, dreaming of the life he and Helga would share.  
  
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Playground School Bell Rings Again  
  
Rain Clouds Come to Play Again  
  
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The next morning Arnold awoke to the sound of sirens blaring outside the boarding house. Frustrated, he walked downstairs to the front door and opened it.  
  
The sirens multiplied as more ambulances and police cars arrived. Arnold walked out to his stoop and saw a crumpled body being picked up by men and placed into a black body bag. He still didn't understand what was happening, and couldn't find the words to ask.  
  
Suddenly, he saw a familiar strand of blonde hair peek out through the bag and a river of tears began to flow. He wanted to rip out his chest, the pain was intolerable as he stared at the black body bag.  
  
'No, no. This is NOT happening. It can't.' Arnold, losing all sense, ran towards the men carrying the black body bag.  
  
"NO! Stop! She's still alive!," he yelled, pushing the men away. The drop from the roof to the ground wasn't that high, so only Helga's neck was broken.  
  
He pulled away the constricting plastic covering his childhood bully and saw her angelic face. It looked as if she was still sleeping, and he wished she would just open her beautiful blue eyes and push him away calling him a stupid football head. More tears began to greet Arnold's face as he remembered everything they've been through.  
  
'I caused this. It should be me, not her. She didn't deserve this.'  
  
He brushed her cheek gently and frowned at the touch. Cold and lifeless.  
  
'If only I told her while she was in my room then this would have never happened.' Arnold was pulled away by his Grandpa as the men sealed up the body once again and brought her into the ambulance.  
  
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Has No One Told You She's Not Breathing?  
  
Hello I'm Your Mind Giving You  
  
Someone To Talk To  
  
Hello  
  
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Everything went into slow motion after that. The questions from the police, the crying of other students, the wallowing in self-pity and finally the funeral. He was a stone, filled with absolutely no emotion. The whole gang was there paying their respects to the class bully, the outcast, and the outstanding actress in high school.  
  
Arnold didn't hear the words of the priest, or the words of Helga's family. He stared at her body lying there peacefully trying somehow to telepathically wake her up. To no avail.  
  
Maybe he was still sleeping and now he was late for school. He doubted it, not even in his dreams did he feel so much despair and sadness. Tears began to fall again as they lowered her coffin into the ground. Many of his friends came up to him asking if he was all right. He smiled weakly and said anything to get them to leave him alone.  
  
He walked off once the last of his friends retreated.  
  
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If I Smile And Don't Believe  
  
Soon I Know I'll Wake From This Dream  
  
Don't try to Fix Me I'm not Broken  
  
Hello I'm The Lie Living For You So You Can Hide  
  
Don't cry  
  
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He reached a nice secluded hill under a tree and sat upon the ground. Oh, how he wanted to kill himself, join Helga in whatever afterlife she is in. But, he knew he can't do that. He might as well live in misery for the rest of his life then take the easy way out, like Helga did.  
  
'She should've held on. Helga G. Pataki was strong.' He suddenly became angry at her for leaving him. After a few moments, realization finally hit him and his features softened.  
  
'Her only weakness was me.' He held his head in his hands, his sobs reaching no one. And finally he straightened his position and looked at the view that was in front of him for so long. Shakily sighing, he laid on his back and closed his eyes.  
  
A warm wind passed and he could hear a voice saying "Until we meet again my love".  
  
That voice calmed him and he had the strength to open his eyes again facing the clouds. One cloud in particular caught his eye. One shaped like a bow.  
  
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Suddenly I Know I'm Not Sleeping  
  
Hello I'm Still Here  
  
All That's Left Of Yesterday  
  
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Hey! Well, what did you guys think? Wrote this in 30 minutes. Sorry if it's short, I know you guys deserved a longer one. Hey, at least I didn't keep you guys in suspense. Surprisingly I had a surge of inspiration. Please R/R! And look for another HA! Fic from me, because I got this great idea for another one. Well, must depart. I bid you good day! 


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